Choices?

Jokowi or Prabowo? Wait for him, or let him go? Stay or move to a new job?

We are always facing choices every  in a relationship or broke up, using taxi or ojek, passion or money, career or love life,  Jokowi or SBY. Actually, my biggest concern on making decision is the opportunity cost, the cost which arises for missing the opportunity. When I was in college, I learn (a lot) about this. Since every decision has consequences. So when I made decision, I usually use three steps.

First, Asking “why” I was making the choice at first place. I used to be a social smoker on my second year in university.  At first, I think there’s no harm being a social smoker as I thought being the passive is more dangerous than the active smoker. Actually, at that time, I had 2 different peer groups, first is the good girl and good boy gang which I usually study with, and second is not really good girl and good boy who I usually not study with. The “good gang” is always mocking me up for being a social smoker and tried to stop this habit by explaining many sophisticated reasons why I have to stop e.g. the risk of cancer or bible told us not to do so. But I have never really listened to their crap as I don’t think the reason is not strong enough. However, when I saw government cigarette advertisement on the bus, It changed my mindset. The ads said “They are becoming richer, when we are dying”. Then I realize that many executives in Cigarette Company are not smoker. The fact that they are making money by selling us the poison which they didn’t even want to consume is like a slap on my face. The feeling by for not being the cash cow for the cigarette company is the “WHY” that I need. Sometimes, you don’t need a sophisticated reason to make a change. Since sometimes the details will cloud our mind to the most fundamental question “WHY”. By looking up this question, it will help us to find our true motivation.

Second, List my options by collecting much information and weigh the possible outcome. There’s many tools that can be used to help us to make a choice i.e. OODA method (Observe, Orient, Decide, Action), or cost and benefit table or even a simple yes and no table. When I was in a dilemmatic situation such as  Facing a little kid who looks so skinny, tired and hungry, it really broke my heart that at this young age, this kid has to struggle to make money when the other kid have a great time in playground. Frankly speaking, I prefer to donate my money in a charity foundation regularly as it will be more impactful. For this particular situation, I usually make a quick mental list, yes and no list. Yes because by giving him some money he can buy a meal and survive. It also makes me feel better since my mom used to tell me to always help other. No because, the money, probably, will be used by the parents to buy cigarette or phone credit or even taken by the preman. Also, it feels like I’m supporting them to be a beggar by providing the demand. But, if I didn’t do this, probably, they really can die as I had read in newspaper that there’s a kid who died since he hasn’t eaten anything more than 2 days.  It’s so dilemmatic you know. But when I face a freak beggar who cut himself by using a razor blade without having any bleeding, I will make a very very quick yes and no table in my head. No, because I don’t want to be intimidated by him.  Yes, because he is a debus and I don’t want him to make me as debus as him by cutting my bag or even my hand. So i always go with giving him money!

Third, Using my gut. Even tough, in college I had learned many decision making tools to assist me in making decision, I realize that by the end of the day it’s just a tool. It’s all coming back to me whether I want to listen to their insight or not. I usually will use my gut to help me decide which insight that I want to use. I realize that I have to sharpen my gut so I can be more confident with my decision. I usually do this by having a moment of stillness. Basically, it’s just sit for 60 second and doing nothing. At this situation, I can confronted who really I am and hide nothing but my own truth.

So, in short, based on my experience, the key to make good decisions is understanding the reason ‘WHY’ , listening to our head (the options and possible outcome) and balancing it with following our heart. Because every decision is coming with consequences and we have to commit with that. Remember:  the art of making decision is the commitment. So use your brain and your heart and let’s decide!

Bisous!

Raisa