Pandemic checkpoint

 It's been 3 weeks when Indo has got into crazy pandemic where the number of COVID patients are getting so high. We have constantly reached into more than 35000 patients each day. My friend told me that the ICU patients are getting younger which means the virus is getting stronger and more dangerous. 

The people who got infected are getting closer to my circle and the pain and suffering are getting more real. It is hard to stay sane and focus to the tasks at hand since the environment is so out of control. Reading books are no longer fun, even the cheesy romantic one which usually one of my guilty pleasure. 

Recently, I've found new hobby which is coloring! Just some fun to feed my design frill lol

I think this new hobby can help me to get a sense of getting control of some stuff and finishing some tasks which provides small wins. I am thinking to pick up some old hobby such as exercising and eating some healthy food to loose weight, not to be skinny and pretty, just to be healthy. Also, I think I need to reduce my time in using social media, especially Instagram as I just realized I usually spend around (almost) 2 hours everyday. 

 I think having some habits, will sooth my anxiety and needs to control some stuff. 

This post is intended to be lengthy without any clear key message, because I realized during this crazy pandemic what important is not being productive and efficient, is only about surviving.

Knowledge and Turbulance

Hi there!

This is my first post in 2021, although its april already 😂

Just got inspiration from a crime documentary film in Netflix "Why did you kill me"

It's really heartbroken to see how you can be a wrong person in wrong place at the wrong time and ended up death. How far "revenge" can drive you to do irrational thing which made you deft to your conscience and made you took a decision with irreversible consequences for the rest of your life.

I wrote about grudge a few years back and how it could differ me to feel happy and joy in my life. Looking for outside validation and/or somethings to be happened so that we can feel happy is not sustainable way to live the life. 

Therefore, Im learning ways to prevent the situation to grow from dissatisfaction to grudge or even make me seeking for revenge.  I learn to deal with my burst of emotion and be sensible that not all dissatisfaction should end-up be forgiven right away. It took a process to deal with the turbulance.

I found that doing reflection from time to time can help me to see thing clearer and know. Instead of just lashing it out or ranting around, I learnt to cope with my anger and dissatisfaction through writing my thoughts and labeling my feelings. Or even, when people asking for my responses, sometimes I can be blunt and says "I dont know what to do now and what I expect you to do for me. Let's rest it for a night and I will get back to you later"

By knowing myself better, what is my mental state, what make me happy, what make me tick and how it impacts me, it help me to deal (or even thrive) during this uncertain time and be more level headed with life

Like John F. Kennedy said "In a time of turbulence, it is more true than ever that knowledge is power"

so then, be the force of knowledge to conquer the turbulence 💪